If you are not familiar with the life of Gideon, he was one of the judges of Israel back before they had a king. He was a strong leader in that day, which all began with him obeying God to tear down the idols and false gods where he lived. As he continued to follow God, he must have felt nervous that he actually was following God and not just dreaming it up, because he tested God. He told God that he would do what he was told to do, IF God would prove Himself by placing morning dew only on a fleece set outside and not on the rest of the ground, which God did. Gideon still was not sure, so he asked God to reverse the miracle to prove Himself by placing dew the next day on just the ground and not on the fleece, which God did. Then Gideon knew that God truly was leading him down a path of leadership, and he followed God out of faith. All of this can be found in Judges 6.
Why on earth am I explaining all of this? Well, my first step to choosing to pursue mission work overseas included God calling me to follow Him. I did not exactly mean to throw out any fleeces for God to prove His involvement in my future plans, but He still did prove Himself anyway! This past year has been extremely busy for me. I have been finishing my MAT in Elementary Education along with working, and I also have been very involved with my church ministry here in Maine. So as I felt God prodding my heart to look into missions, oftentimes it got put on the back burner because it did not make sense for me to sacrifice what God was doing in my life NOW for something in the FUTURE that I was not even sure He was calling me to. With that said, God had other plans for my priorities! Every time there was paperwork for me to fill out or or a phone call I needed to make, He provided me time slots to get things done. My family noticed it right off, and my mom especially enjoyed pointing out that God had a hand in these circumstances. There were school delays, snow days, and my personal favorite, a fake case of whooping cough (3 days stuck at home waiting for test results). Each time I tried to convince myself to wait one more year, God would line up circumstances to make it clear that now was the time.
Even with these small confirmations, it is still taking a lot of faith to trust God. I have gotten some feedback from people along the lines of being amazed at how brave I am. I just want to make it very clear, that I am acting out of obedience and not trying to brave or conquer the world! To be very transparent, I have a lot of fears at this point. I am afraid that while I am gone something will happen to my family. I am afraid that my ministry that I have gotten going here at home will die down. I am afraid continuously of being a teacher and the responsibility that holds. Those are just a few, but be sure there are more! I can say I have faith in God till I’m blue in the face, but faith is proved by actions. So, just like Gideon, I am going to follow God, no matter what fears I may occasionally face.