Wednesday, April 26, 2017

California

Last week I was able to travel up to California to visit a long time friend during spring break here at school. It was such an amazing trip, and I’m just so thankful that I got to go.

Most of the week was spent in a some small towns a few hours outside of LA: Newberry, Barstow, and Apple Valley. It seemed to be even more of a desert than Chihuahua, yet it had a lot of similarities to where I am now, just without the city feeling. My friend is an occupational therapist, so during her work hours I got to explore the area a little on my own, but the real reason I was there was to spend time with her and catch up, so that was the best part.

The day before I flew back home, we got to go to Disneyland! I never plan these things too well, yet the day could not have been better. Our tiny group was perfect for that day.

Building relationships is always worth it. Pouring time, effort, love, money, and faith into other people always has some type of benefit.

Something that I have been meditating on and trying to learn more about is God’s grace. I still have a lot of meditating left on the subject, and I mostly see a need in myself to grow more in grace. Relationships are one of the best ways to better understand the ways God offers us grace daily.

In I Peter 4:8-11 Peter is talking about how we should be acting as believers in God’s grace, and it ends with:

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Building relationships doesn’t always come easy to me. I struggle to answer text messages. I’m not always able to answer the phone because I psych myself out, and returning calls has to happen after my heart pace has returned to normal. Multiple times I’ve had to ask random people to push the send button for my emails, because I physically struggle forcing myself to push send. I have a horrible habit of double booking engagements, which stresses me out so much I feel like I should cancel BOTH of the original appointments rather than more logically rescheduling one. Really my favorite part of relationships is physically being together and spending stress free time with people, and I love going out of my way in those moments to try to love my friends. Though I realize, relationships require more work than whatever my favorite part happens to be.

But none of that matters, because the most important part of relationships is to glorify God, which we do by serving others with whatever gifts God gave us. I think relationships require so much grace and patience on purpose in order to glorify God by ultimately growing our relationships with Him.

In the end, I am so thankful for how many friends God has placed in my life. They have shown me more patience and love than I could possibly share or deserve, and after trips like these I feel extraordinarily blessed by God for the people He’s placed in my life that have faithfully tried to help me grow closer to Him.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Recharging

2 Corinthians 4:7
But we have this treasure [light of the Gospel]in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

I am an introvert. That doesn’t mean I don’t like talking or being around people. I love socializing, as long as my social battery is fully charged. Being introverted means I just need some serious recharge time to be able to live a consistent life of ministry without locking myself away for a few months here and there in my room.

As I get older, I’m finding it important to know and understand myself and know when I need time to recharge. My current problem is, what if the things that recharge you are unavailable? What then?

A few things that usually help me recharge/be able to continue through life healthily and socially are music, swimming (or anything with water), forests/nature, listening to audio Bible, being involved in church ministry, and my cat. The ULTIMATE recharge time for me is talking with my family. A few days spent away from the world and with my family will leave me recharged for a week or two.

Here in Chihuahua, I’m finding I get burnt out really quick, and staying charged and ready to socialize and minister is not always an option for me. The only things from the list I listed above that I have down here are music and audio Bible, but I’m starting to notice that listening to audio 24/7 (which currently is how I survive each day) is not recharging me fast enough or completely enough to be able to function on a level that would be most glorifying to God.

Pushing through doesn’t always work. The past few months, I’ve had the thought process of, “Oh well. There are no lakes or oceans here. There are no forests here. Your cat has forgotten you. Getting involved in a church is a non-option without fluent Spanish and a car. Your family is over 3,000 miles away. Get over it and push through.” Running on a low battery non-stop is starting to look a lot like consistently awkward conversations, running away from people that are extremely kind, rashes breaking out all over my body, requiring a ridiculous amount of sleep every day, disappearing in my room every weekend, annoying my students with music playing constantly throughout each day in class, and unable to carry a solid conversation with the Lord beyond just asking for help for everything and anything.

The Lord has definitely been helping me. Every day that I have a good conversation with someone outside my apartment or actually teach something somewhat valuable in my classroom, I know that is the Lord’s strength shining through my weakness, because my own strength is shot at the moment. I also have become so close with my roommate, and a huge part of my happiness here has been because she feels like family and talks and listens to me just like my family back home usually does. She is a gift from the Lord!


All that to say, the Lord called me here for a reason. This trip is one of my personal pinnacles of growth in my relationship with the Lord. It has required complete dependence on God’s grace, which I’m not even sure if I understood at all before this trip. It has pushed me into craving a better relationship with the Lord to just help me survive in an atmosphere so opposite to my comfort zone. As my time here is starting to wrap up, it is hard to see the reasons or even the complete impact that it has had on me, but the Lord is sustaining me! In the future, I may pray a little more fervently to be called somewhere where I can be more charged and comfortable in order to be able to put all my energy and ability into serving the Lord. I have loved being here, and I will cry like a little baby when I have to say goodbye to my roommate and my students. But even so, it is hard at times to see past my weaknesses as an overeducated, awkward introvert. Thankfully, God can use anyone!

2 Corinthians 4:15-18
For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.